How to control anger: 6 steps from the Sunnah
The Prophet ﷺ gave very practical advice for the moment anger rises. Practising it is a habit like any other.
The strong man is not the one who wrestles others down. The strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry.
Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim
A man said to the Prophet ﷺ: Advise me. He said: Do not become angry. The man repeated his request several times and each time he said: Do not become angry.
Sahih al-Bukhari
۞وَسَارِعُوٓاْ إِلَىٰ مَغۡفِرَةٖ مِّن رَّبِّكُمۡ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرۡضُهَا ٱلسَّمَٰوَٰتُ وَٱلۡأَرۡضُ أُعِدَّتۡ لِلۡمُتَّقِينَ ﴿١٣٣﴾ ٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي ٱلسَّرَّآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ وَٱلۡكَٰظِمِينَ ٱلۡغَيۡظَ وَٱلۡعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِۗ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلۡمُحۡسِنِينَ ﴿١٣٤﴾
Wasariʿoo ila maghfiratin min rabbikum wajannatin ʿarduha alssamawatu waalardu oʿiddat lilmuttaqeena Allatheena yunfiqoona fee alssarrai waalddarrai waalkathimeena alghaytha waalʿafeena ʿani alnnasi waAllahu yuhibbu almuhsineena
And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good
Quran 3:133-134 · Surah Al-Imran
6 steps
- Seek refuge in Allah: say "A'udhu billahi minash-shaytanir-rajim". The Prophet ﷺ said this removes anger (al-Bukhari, Muslim).
- Stay silent. "If one of you becomes angry, let him be silent" (Ahmad).
- Change your position: if you are standing, sit down; if sitting, lie down (Abu Dawud).
- Make wudu. Anger is from the devil, and the devil was created from fire, and fire is put out with water (Abu Dawud).
- Remember the reward for those who restrain their anger and forgive.
- Leave the situation and come back when calm.
Build the habit
Notice your triggers: hunger, tiredness, traffic, particular topics. Decide in advance what you will say or do. At night, review the day: when did you get angry, and what will you do differently?
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