How to stop backbiting
Backbiting is so common that many people do not notice it. Islam treats it as a major sin and gives clear guidance to stop it.
يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ ٱجۡتَنِبُواْ كَثِيرٗا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعۡضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثۡمٞۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُواْ وَلَا يَغۡتَب بَّعۡضُكُم بَعۡضًاۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمۡ أَن يَأۡكُلَ لَحۡمَ أَخِيهِ مَيۡتٗا فَكَرِهۡتُمُوهُۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابٞ رَّحِيمٞ ﴿١٢﴾
Ya ayyuha allatheena amanoo ijtaniboo katheeran mina alththanni inna baʿda alththanni ithmun wala tajassasoo wala yaghtab baʿdukum baʿdan ayuhibbu ahadukum an yakula lahma akheehi maytan fakarihtumoohu waittaqoo Allaha inna Allaha tawwabun raheemun
O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful
Quran 49:12 · Surah Al-Hujurat
Do you know what backbiting is? They said: Allah and His Messenger know best. He said: Mentioning your brother in a way he dislikes. Someone asked: What if what I say about him is true? He said: If it is true, you have backbitten him; if it is not true, you have slandered him.
Sahih Muslim
Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent.
Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim
Practical steps
- Pause before speaking about someone absent: would I say this in front of them?
- Change the subject or defend the person when others backbite.
- Leave group chats or conversations that live on gossip.
- Make dua for the person you were about to criticise.
- If you backbit someone, repent, stop, speak well of them where you spoke badly and, if it will not cause harm, ask their forgiveness.
- Count the days without gheebah in your habit tracker.
Whoever defends the honour of his brother, Allah will protect his face from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.
Jami at-Tirmidhi
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